Thursday, February 7, 2008

What library schools SHOULD be teaching

In the spirit of AL's post Courses I Wish I'd Had in Library School, I give to you course descriptions of classes that would be useful in my professional life. I'm sure Simmons GSLIS will add these to their curriculum soon.

Argument Without Reason: Illogic 101
You will not be able to argue with many patrons and co-workers without this course. Learn how to win an argument with anyone, including the mentally ill or those who have simply been in their jobs for too long. Emphasis on volume, facial expression, and intimdating body language.

Identification and Removal of Stains and Odors
Library budgets are strapped and that means no improvements to carpets, upholstery, or plumbing. This essential course, now with a lab component for hands-on learning, will teach you all you need to know about common stains and smells as well as a thorough exploration of cleaners, sanitizers,and disinfectants.

How to Choose your Second Job
You will never be able to pay for this education with your salary, so now is the time to explore options for your complementary career. High pay is key to making your work hours worthwhile, and with that in mind you will learn how to break into the sex industry. Stripper, phone-sex operator, escort, and adult film actor are only some of the glamorous career options we will explore in this class. Free pasties with registration!

Dulling the Pain: Choosing the right substance for your mood
If you think the drug you take to cope with the public is the same one that will get you through a long boring staff meeting or help refrain from crank-calling the library trustees, think again! The varying effects of pharmaceuticals and liquor are discussed in this comprehensive course, which includes all you need to get you through your day, and beyond. Bonus section on using hallucinegic drugs to create more imaginative displays.

1 comment:

myboringblog said...

This is so funny! :-) I can't seem to stop laughing.