Tuesday, April 25, 2017
Top Ten Things That Will Make Me Instantly NOT Want To Read a Book
Top Ten Tuesdays are hosted at The Broke and the Bookish. This week's topic is the opposite of last week's. The interesting thing about this topic is that even though certain things are instant turn-off's to me, it doesn't mean that I won't actually read the book if I hear enough good things about it. They're just things that make me immediately say NO or, more likely, roll my eyes and say "Gah."
1. World War II
Haven't we exhausted this topic? Apparently not. But I am exhausted of it. I know All the Light We Cannot See is supposed to be amazing and I've been told that I'd like it, but I just can't get interested. Maybe someday.
2. An overly precious title
I'm looking at you, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake. In fact, for a while there were a number of books with similarly-constructed titles and I just find it annoying. (The Adjective Feeling of Adjective Noun. It's a thing.) I don't care how good the book is supposed to be.
3. Anything that a review calls a "tour de force."
I realize this is a problem with reviewing and not the book itself, but it still turns me off. The phrase is incredibly overused and I take it out on the books, which really are just victims in all of this. The same goes for anything with a plot point described as "unthinkable." Nothing is unthinkable. In fact, this author already thought of it a couple years ago when they started this book, and it's probably not even so original that there's not another book about it out there somewhere. Many people have thought about this thing.
4. Neurotic middle-aged men trying to find themselves
I just don't have the patience for that crap. Come to think of it, anything about privileged white people trying to find themselves strikes me the same way. They really need to find some hobbies.
5. Over 500 pages
It's not that I don't read long books, I do. But it's a large time investment that I'm hesitant to take on and why is everything so incredibly long?
6. Short stories
I've been very excited about authors I like having new books come out and then I learn they are short story collections and I immediately feel disappointed. I have a strange relationship with short stories in that I think I don't like them so I try to avoid them, but when I give in and start reading them I remember that I do actually like them. It's very confusing.
7. When a book is compared to an amazing wonderful book that I'm sure it is nothing like
It might be a great book, but don't try to tell me that it's the next Gone Girl or the next Eleanor & Park because it's not. It might be wonderful, but just tell me why it's wonderful without making unfair and untrue comparisons because I don't believe them.
If the plot has anything to do with any sort of competitive sportsball thingy, I am instantly uninterested. The closest I've come recently is The Boys in the Boat, and that's because I was forced to read it.
In theory spy stories are super interesting and exciting, but the reality for me is just a lot of confusion. I read about half of Tinker, Tailor, Solider, Spy and stopped because I had no idea what was going on. Then I watched the entire movie, and I still don't know what was going on. I did like Code Name Verity though, so it's not impossible for me to enjoy a spy story.
10. Cover art that I don't like
I mean, A Little Life, right? Or as I think of it, Michael J. Fox Having An Orgasm. (Is it just me?) I still plan to read it - it's on my personal challenge for the year - but I wish there was more than one cover option. Why is this seemingly the only book with the same art on the hardcover and paperback? To make me uncomfortable, that's why.
So there you have it - everything I could think of that makes me instantly not want to read a book. What factors turn you off from a book immediately? Share in the comments!