What If It's Us

What If It's Us by Becky Albertalli and Adam Silvera (2018), narrated by Noah Galvin and Froy Gutierrez

Arthur is from Georgia but is spending the summer in New York, interning at his mom's law firm. One day he's on a coffee run and in front of the post office he sees a super cute boy carrying a box. Following him into the post office, they end up talking briefly but then are interrupted by a flash mob. Arthur can't find the mysterious boy, but now he's obsessed! He didn't even catch the guy's name, and only knows that he was there to mail a box of stuff to his ex-boyfriend.

The mysterious boy is Ben, and although he's not looking for a new boyfriend already, he IS kind of intrigued by Arthur. But how are they to find each other again?

Well, it's not easy but they do, and what transpires after that is just adorable and fun and super cute, which is not surprising coming from Becky Albertalli. Both of these characters were the exact right combination of appealing and flawed to make the story angsty enough to be a story, and one that I just listened to obsessively until it was over.

Compared to Ben, Arthur is totally inexperienced when it comes to romance so he had a lot of anxiety, and he is a talker so he has this tendency to keep talking even when he shouldn't. Everything in his head just comes out of his mouth. He is jealous of Ben's ex-boyfriend Hudson, which causes a little friction since Ben and Hudson are in summer school together. Ben is self-conscious about being in summer school since Arthur is so smart and apparently bound for Yale after his senior year. Although Ben isn't academically strong, he's creative and talented and he's writing a fantasy novel, which he shares with Arthur. They sort of bumble their way through this relationship totally awkwardly. I loved every moment of it.

A big part of the story is their friends. Ever since Arthur came out to his friends Ethan and Jessie, Ethan has avoided him, only texting in the group text with the three of them. Ben's best friend Dylan is far cooler with Ben being gay, and they are super close like brothers. Except that Dylan has a new girlfriend he's obsessed with, so he's spending all his time with her. But I loved their friends, and I loved that they eventually met each other. I even liked their parents and Arthur's coworkers. Everything about this book was so great.

The narrators were fantastic. One of them is Noah Galvin, who I totally LOVE. He read Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock and he's amazing because he doesn't sound like he's reading, he sounds like he's just telling you a story. (Also, he's in the movie Booksmart, which I just saw and which you should also see.) Froy Gutierrez is new to me, but I had to look him up because he sounds just like Leo from Veronica Mars, but it's not him. He is also a great narrator and I loved the two together.

I think my favorite Becky Albertalli book before this was Leah On the Offbeat, and I can't decide if I like this one the same or even more. I guess it doesn't matter. What does matter is that I've now run out of Becky Albertalli books and that makes me very sad. Luckily I work with a teen librarian and I got some good recommendations from them so I've got some options. Still, I hope she releases another book soon!

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock

Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock by Matthew Quick (2013), narrated by Noah Galvin

On the morning of Leonard Peacock's 18th birthday, he packs a gun in his backpack along with four gifts. The gifts are for the four people who are most important to him: his elderly neighbor Walt with whom he watches Humphrey Bogart movies; a young woman he developed a crush on when she handed him a religious pamphlet at the subway; a guy from his school who lets Leonard listen to him practice his violin; and his favorite teacher, Herr Silverman. Once he distributes these gifts, Leonard plans to take his gun and murder his former best friend before killing himself. It's going to be a hell of a day.

As Leonard visits each of these friends in turn, he reveals his story about each one and why they are important. It's clear early on that Leonard is fairly lonely, which is reinforced by the distance between him and the people to whom he's bringing gifts. His mother is a self-absorbed fashion designer who lives in New York most of the time, leaving Leonard alone in their home in Philadelphia, and his father is out of the picture. Still, the major reasons for his plan are shrouded until late in the story.

I was skeptical about the premise of this book at first - I'm so sick of hearing about teenagers taking guns to school to blow up their classmates and/or teachers. Do I need to read about it in fiction too? But I wanted to give Matthew Quick another chance after Sorta Like a Rock Star, which I thought held promise even though I didn't love it. I'm so glad I did.

Leonard is in obvious pain, but is so smart and funny I couldn't help but like him. I knew he must have a good reason for what he was planning and through the entire book I just knew the tragedy would be averted, because how could you kill this character, Matthew Quick? Of course I won't tell you what happens but I'll say that I loved this book the whole way through.

I loved the stories about his friendships with the four characters he has gifts for. They are all very different people, but Leonard appreciates them all for who they are and how they have touched him. I especially liked his relationship with his neighbor Walt. All they did together was watch Bogart movies, and their conversations were built entirely of quotes from those movies, and somehow it was just very sweet.

Interspersed with the stories are letters from the future, from Leonard's life after a nuclear holocaust, where he lives in a lighthouse with a wife and daughter. Though I had no idea through a lot of the book whether they were supposed to be actual letters from the future or fiction, they were still some of my favorite parts.

What ultimately sold me on trying this book was listening to a sample of the audio, which proved a great choice. I'm pretty sure that Noah Galvin is actually a teenager, and he perfectly captures Leonard's character. I could probably listen to this guy read anything. And in fact, it turns out he also narrated one of my favorite books, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. If I decide to tackle Perks a fifth time, I'll be sure to try the audio. As for Leonard Peacock, you probably can't go wrong with either format. I highly recommend it.