Piecing Me Together

Piecing Me Together by Renee Watson (2017), narrated by the author

Jade accepts every opportunity that comes to her way, because she wants to make sure she has every chance at success. She takes a bus across town to attend a private school on scholarship, and she is now asked to join a mentoring program called Woman To Woman. She joins, but is resentful that it's for "at-risk" kids and she's not at risk. She is, however, one of very few black kids at a mostly-white high school and can't help but think that's why she keeps being asked to take opportunities that are supposed to help her. Jade thinks she is completely capable of helping others, and what she wants most is to be asked to participate in the study abroad program and use the Spanish she studies so diligently while taking part in a volunteer project.

As if it wasn't enough she didn't want to join Woman To Woman in the first place, her mentor Maxine keeps standing her up, and taking long phone calls when they're together. At the same time she's very supportive of Jade's art, spectacular photo collages.

Jade has recently befriended a girl named Sam who takes the same bus across town to school. Sam is white, and sometimes doesn't understand the things that Jade complains about. When they're shopping together and a salesperson exhibits racist behavior toward Jade, Sam tries to explain it away. As much as Jade likes Sam, these interactions make her very uncomfortable.

A major theme in this book is Jade's unwillingness to speak up for herself. She internalizes unfairness, slights, and racism and doesn't ask for the things she wants. She's a smart creative person who has a lot to give to the world and I really liked seeing her grow stronger and begin to find her own voice and take the scary step of confronting people and asking for what she wanted. It felt so liberating!

Although her relationship with Maxine was sometimes strained, Maxine helped Jade to take this initiative. It was rough though. Maxine had to convince Jade she was worth spending time with, and had to convince Jade's mother that she wasn't overstepping her bounds. Jade's mom worked really hard but was also a great mother, and didn't appreciate being treated like she wasn't there for her daughter, who consequently needed another adult woman to help her out. But eventually mom and Maxine got to know each other more and the relationships all solidified a bit. It was an interesting dynamic to watch unfold.

The audiobook was narrator by the author, who doesn't sound like a professional narrator, but I liked listening to her. She had a casual, conversation tone that sounded appropriate for a teenage girl.

This was only about 5.5 hours long, so it only took me about a week. I usually just listen on my commute, but I found myself carving out time at home to listen while doing other things. Jade was a great character, and I loved seeing her come into her own and really start standing up for herself. She'll go far, and she doesn't need any more well-meaning help to do it.

Good Luck With That

Good Luck With That by Kristan Higgins (2018)

I know Kristan Higgins from the very enjoyable Blue Heron series, but now she's writing outside of the romance genre. Good Luck With That is the story of three friends who met as teenagers at "fat camp" and have stayed close over the years. Marley and Georgia especially so, but Emerson has kept her distance a bit. When they are reunited at Emerson's deathbed, she leaves them a final wish: complete the list of goals they made when they were teenagers. The list was called Things We'll Do When We're Skinny and included items such as "eat dessert in public," "get a piggyback ride from a guy," "tuck in a shirt," and various other things they felt they had to be skinny in order to do.

Emerson's death was directly attributable to her vast weight gain, causing difficulty moving her from the house to the hospital and requiring a specially sized casket after her death. When Marley and Georgia arrived at the hospital to visit Emerson, they were shocked and appalled at her condition. I was very taken aback in those early chapters and wondered if the book was going to be fat-shamey, but stuck it out. I didn't yet know Marley and Georgia, and had I been able to get to know them before they appeared at Emerson's bedside I think I would have felt better about their reactions to her condition. Although she dies early in the book, we do get Emerson's story through the journal entries she left behind. It was a pretty sad story, and isolating herself from her closest friends made it all the more worse.

Marley and Georgia weren't without their own struggles. Georgia was the thinnest of the three, constantly being encouraged/shamed by her mother, who arguably had her own serious eating issues. Georgia, an attorney turned preschool teacher, was once married to a fantastic man, but basically sabotaged the marriage because she was so uncomfortable with herself and didn't think she deserved him. Now, he has appeared again in her social sphere and she realizes she still doesn't have closure over their failed marriage. Marley is a personal chef with her own business, who pines after her brother's coworker, a guy who she's slept with a few times but who keeps his distance in public. Marley is probably the most well-adjusted and ok with herself character in the book.

I really liked Georgia and Marley's friendship, and the way they honored Emerson's memory by working to complete the items on the list - but not waiting until they were skinny. This isn't a book about weight loss, but rather about the relationship women have with food and their weight and the pressures to be thin, and the way we think we need to be a certain size in order to deserve love and happiness. Sometimes it made me uncomfortable, which is not a bad thing, but mostly I got really sucked into these women's stories. Kristan Higgins is noted for her humor, and there were many many funny moments in this book. It was super easy to get into and I couldn't put it down for the very few days I was reading it. There was a lot going on in the characters' lives - much more than even what I've mentioned - and I was very invested in their stories.

The style reminds me a lot of old school chick lit, which I really miss. Although there are serious issues, it's told in a light and upbeat way with a lot of humor, and although it's not a romance there is definitely romance in the story. It's a perfect summer read.

Good Luck With That is due out in August. I received my copy courtesy of the publisher, and was not compensated for my review.

The Four Tendencies

The Four Tendencies: The Indispensable Personality Profiles That Reveal How To Make Your Life Better by Gretchen Rubin (2017)

I listen to By the Book, a podcast hosted by two women who read and live by self-help books for two weeks at a time and then talk about it on their show. It's hilarious! They haven't done this book, but many of their fans have mentioned it in their Facebook community. I'm familiar with Gretchen Rubin because I used to read her Happiness Project blog back before she ever got a book deal (although I stopped when I had had enough of the relentless pursuit of happiness), and I'm always interested in understanding personality types. So I thought this might be helpful.

Rubin has boiled people down to four basic types, or tendencies as she calls them, according to how they meet expectations from themselves and others. Upholders meet both inner and outer expectations; Questioners meet inner, but not outer, expectations; Obligers meet outer, but not inner, expectations; and Rebels basically refuse to meet any expectations.

What this means in practical terms is that, for example, Obligers will be dependable at meeting deadlines set by their boss but may struggle to go to the gym regularly. However, if they have a gym buddy they're supposed to go with, they'll go because they won't want to let that other person down. According to Rubin, most people are Obligers. Questioners need reasons for what they do, so they don't meet expectations from others unless they are themselves convinced that it makes sense. They also tend to be the people who will research something to death before making a decision about it. Upholders regularly meet inner and outer expectations. They are rule-followers who tend to form new habits fairly easily. Rebels are the opposite - they are all about freedom and doing whatever they want in the moment, resisting expectations from themselves as much as they resist expectations from others.

If you know me at all, you'll immediately recognize me as an Upholder, which as far as I can tell, is the very best tendency. I may be biased. We are the ones who are often accused of being rigid. It's true that I like to have a plan and stick to it, even if that plan is going home and putting on my pajamas at 7pm and reading all evening. That is just as legit as what someone else wants me to do.
But I'm super grateful that I happen to find my own expectations just as important as the expectations of others - I rarely, if ever, fall into the trap of saying "yes" too much until my plate is too full and I'm overwhelmed. I also do tend to form habits fairly easily and stick to plans, though I have recently gotten better at allowing myself to drop things when I no longer think they're helpful or relevant. In case you're wondering, my husband is most definitely a Rebel and according to Rubin, the Upholder/Rebel pairing is pretty much the worst combination of tendencies to have in a relationship. So there you have it.

Obviously, not everyone in each category is the same, and there is overlap. (I think I have a little bit of Questioner, for example.) Plus of course, people have other aspects of their personalities that can dilute or mitigate their tendencies. But what I like about this, and other personality-sorting such as the Enneagram, is that it's a tool to take a closer look at why people do the things the they do and act the way they act. In terms of interpersonal relationships, I find it very useful to look at people in different ways. I'm a manager and of course I immediately tried to sort people in my department into categories, although to be honest, these categories are just giving me names for things I already knew about them. (And I thank my lucky stars I don't have to supervise any Rebels.) But for people I don't know as well, it might actually be helpful in figuring out their motivations. This kind of personality analysis is also helpful in understanding oneself too, of course. Upholders are a pretty small group, apparently, and I definitely fall into the trap Rubin (also an Upholder) mentioned, in which I don't understand why people can't just do the thing they've said they want to do, or are expected to do. Just do it! Do the thing! Do all of the things! Make a list and follow it! Yeah, that's apparently not how most people operate, so I need to realize that I'm actually the weirdo in sticking to things I've decided I want or need to do, sometimes regardless of whether it even still makes sense.

Although I found this book fairly interesting and helpful at the beginning, the long sections devoted to each type were a bit bloated and I got especially bogged down during Obliger. It got very repetitive - how many times must you repeat that Obligers meet outer expectations but not inner expectations? It felt like this fairly short book would have been better as a lengthy article. But maybe it's just because I'm not invested enough in the idea that I need such thorough explanations and numerous examples.

If you're interested in learning your own tendency (though you may already recognize it from my descriptions above) you can take the quiz here.

Just Mercy

Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption by Bryan Stevenson (2014)

I first heard of Bryan Stevenson back in 2014 when I read the book No Choirboy, a teen book about teens on death row. Stevenson is an attorney who was mentioned in the book because he's an advocate for people treated unfairly by the justice system. He also appears in the documentary 13th, which is about racial inequality in the U.S. justice system. I've admired him ever since I heard of his work, and recently I finally made a point to read his book.

Stevenson's passion for justice is clear and unwavering and he has spent his entire career helping those who need it the most. He started the Equal Justice Initiative, a nonprofit that provides representation for prisoners who were wrongly convicted or didn't receive a fair trial. We learn about many of these case in the book, and they are all horrifying.

The story focused on the most is that of Walter McMillian, a black man convicted of murder and sentenced to death. At the time of the murder he was at a fish fry with many friends and family, but their testimony was completely disregarded and he was convicted on the basis of one witness who was obviously lying, but he was white and everyone wanted to convict someone for this terrible murder. It was obvious to Stevenson that McMillian's trial had been a farce, but even so it took quite a while to get McMillian set free.

Other stories are equally as horrifying. A 14-year-old girl accidentally started a fire in which two people died and was sentence to life without parole. An intellectually disabled woman was charged with killing her baby and, facing a capital charge, took a plea for life in prison - but there was no baby. She had never even been pregnant. A 13-year-old boy shot a woman (she lived) and was sentence to life without parole. He was sent to an adult prison and because such young prisoners are often targets for abuse, he was put in solitary confinement and kept there for 18 years.

Although Stevenson won some of his cases, he didn't win them all. He wrote about one death row inmate he wasn't able to save. He visited the man on the last night of his life and then witnessed his execution. He reflected:

"In debates about the death penalty, I had started arguing that we would never think it was humane to pay someone to rape people convicted of rape or assault and abuse someone guilty of assault or abuse. Yet we were comfortable killing people who kill, in part because we think we can do it in a manner that doesn't implicate our own humanity, the way that raping or abusing someone would. I couldn't stop thinking that we don't spend much time contemplating the details of what killing someone actually involves."

I learned about so many terrible things from this book. Black defendants having all-white juries at their trials, and racist jurors not being excluded. That by 2010 the state of Florida had sentenced over 100 kids to life without parole. Kids! That between 1990 and 2005 a new prison opened in the United States every 10 days. That the drugs used for lethal injection had been banned for animal euthanasia because they caused a painful and tortuous death, which led to correctional authorities obtaining them illegally for executions.

I knew that our justice system was flawed. I've read The New Jim Crow. But reading this...I felt like it's more than flawed. It's completely broken and useless. Why hasn't there been a huge outcry? Why hasn't it been fixed? Do other people who work in the system not care? Thank goodness for people like Bryan Stevenson and the other attorneys at his organization who are trying to fix the horrible injustices that have been allowed to take place.

It was very hard to read, especially in the current political climate in which the current administration seems determined to undo the social progress we've made. But I also think it's very important to read - Americans need to understand that this is happening. I know there's a strong movement against mass incarceration and towards prison reform, and I only hope it can result and real and lasting change.

A Princess in Theory

A Princess in Theory (Reluctant Royals #1) by Alyssa Cole (2018), narrated by Karen Chilton

Busy, working graduate student Naledi starts getting emails claiming she's betrothed to an African prince, which she deletes because of course they're spam BUT THEY'RE NOT SPAM. Prince Thabiso has to travel to New York on business and decides to seek her out in person, which goes terribly awry when she mistakes him for a new hire at her waitressing job and he plays along with it only to set a table on fire. Needless to say, it's not a good impression. But when he turns up in the apartment next door to her and offers to cook her dinner, they smooth things over and soon it starts heating up between them. But she still thinks his name is Jamal and he doesn't reveal his real identity, or their shared background, so that's rather a ticking time bomb.

Naledi only remembers New York. Her parents were killed in a car accident when she was very young and she grew up in a series of foster homes. None of them stuck and she is without family, struggling to complete her education. She needs an internship and hasn't heard back from the person she's supposed to be interning for, and this is a great source of stress, in addition to the demands on her time with school and two jobs. Even as she becomes more and more attracted to the guy she knows as Jamal, she is convinced that their relationship won't go anywhere.

The setup alone was enough to get me to read this book, but the execution was fantastic. Naledi definitely has some self-esteem issues when it comes to relationships, and the knowledge that Thabiso was lying to her about such huge issues really hung over me throughout the story. But not too long - this isn't one of those stories where it all comes out very late in the book and then they get over it and live happily ever after. No, there is a lot more to this story and that's what makes it so good.

When all is said and done we learn about Thabiso's country and his life, the issues facing them and why they're all counting on him to get married, the whole story behind Thabiso and Naledi's childhood betrothal and, finally, why Naledi's family fled Thesolo and started a new life. Throughout, Naledi tried to come to terms with Thabiso's lies, her attraction to him, and how the situation would affect - or not? - her life. They were both such great characters. Naledi down-to-earth and practical, but passionate about her work in public health, Thabiso raised to have his every need served but still empathetic to the needs of his people.

Literally the only thing wrong with this book is that when Naledi learned Thabiso's real identity she never expressed concern about what happened to the real Jamal, who probably really needed that job. (Thabiso intercepted him outside and paid him something like $20k to not go in, so he's fine. She just doesn't know that.)

The audio narrator was great (she did the accents, though I have no idea if she based the Thesaloian accent on a real African language) and I thought this was a great choice for audio. I mean, there were some sexytimes that were fairly graphic and I always feel a little weird listening on the bus even though I know nobody can hear what I'm hearing. But overall it was a fun and satisfying listening experience.

Fun fact: Alyssa Cole is known for her great dresses, which she buys from an Etsy shop called Adorned by Nicole. The dress on the cover is actually a dress designed by that shop. So if you love it (and why wouldn't you?) you know where you can get one.

The book I've been reading in print at the same time as this one is Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson, which is all about our horrible broken justice system and innocent people being executed. But we have to also read things that make us feel good and remind ourselves why life is even worth living in the first place. So do yourself a favor and pick up a story that you know is going to end well - like this one. As much as we need to pay attention to horrible stuff happening around us, sometimes we also need to escape for a little while.

The Cuckoo's Calling

The Cuckoo's Calling (Cormoran Strike #1) by Robert Galbraith (2013)

This is the first crime novel by J.K. Rowling, who initially published it under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith. I've heard great things about it - about the whole series - and I love all of Rowling's other books, so it was only a matter of time before I read it. Of course it's fairly long so I kept putting it off, and it ended up on my 2018 TBR Pile Challenge list.

The story opens on the aftermath of an apparent suicide. A famous model has jumped from her balcony, and police and paparazzi swarm the street outside her London home. But her brother refuses to believe she killed herself and hires private detective Cormoran Strike to investigate. One witness, a resident of the building's first floor, claims to have heard Lula Landry arguing with a man before falling to her death, but is this witness credible? Is there something suspicious about Landry's down-and-out friend Rochelle, who seems like she doesn't want to be found? And what of Landry's estranged boyfriend? The police consider it an open-and-shut case of suicide, but to Strike too many unanswered questions remain.

Cormoran Strike is in the midst of his own difficulties. As the story begins, he's just begun living in his office after a devastating breakup, business not healthy enough to support his renting an apartment. He has a new secretary sent by a temp agency, Robin, who is fascinated by Strike's work and dreads being moved on to her next job. This tension permeates the novel, as Robin proves herself worthy of more than just administrative duties due to her cleverness and resourcefulness, but Strike knows he can't afford to keep her on. Robin is engaged to a guy named Matthew who disapproves of her working for Strike, and I kept hoping she would dump him. It's a sketchy situation really, working for a guy who is clearly living in his office but trying unsuccessfully to hide that fact. He also tries to hide his prosthetic leg, crankily urging Robin to leave when he's been walking a lot and just needs to take his leg off for some relief but refuses to do so with her there. I loved seeing their very different personalities interact, especially as the story progressed and they got more comfortable with each other.

Along the way, we learn a lot about Landry's life. Her adoptive family, as well as her reconnection with her birth mother and search for her biological father. We also meet her friends, both the unlikely - Rochelle, who she met in rehab - and the other models as well as a designer she modeled for and had a close relationship with. We also learn about Strike's life: the son of a groupie and a rock star, everyone knows who his father is and mention him whenever they meet Strike, but he himself has only met his father a couple of times. The similarities between Landry's and Strike's life were apparent, but so were the vast differences, but both characters were fully realized even though one was already dead when the book began.

It was long, as I mentioned, but not unnecessarily so. The mystery of Lula Landry's death had many twists and turns and it took Strike - with Robin's help - a long time to investigate all the leads. It did take me a long time to read, but it was definitely worth it. There are two more books in the series, with a fourth to come later this year, so I look forward to picking those up at some point.

June Wrap-Up and Plans for July

It already feels like summer is flying by too fast!

Reading

I haven't completed anything from my TBR Pile Challenge this month. I finished A Short History of Nearly Everything at the very end of May, and I'm just now starting the next book for my challenge.

I read a couple of very new books - The Outsider by Stephen King and The Last Summer of the Garrett Girls by Jessica Spotswood. Another great book I read this month was Go, Went, Gone by Jenny Erpenbeck, which was quite timely as it dealt with immigration.

I only completed 6 books in June, which is a little less than usual for me, I think because the Stephen King book was so long. I really thought I'd start flying through my TBR list now that I don't have a book group and therefore have one less book to read per month, but it was a busy month.

Listening

My only audiobook was Forever, Interrupted, which is now my least favorite book by Taylor Jenkins Reid.

Otherwise, it's been the same old music and podcasts. Oh! I did add one new podcast - Slow Russian, which is a Russian language-learning podcast. I've been wanting to brush up on my Russian but I don't necessarily want to just listen to the regular language-learning sources and their boring conversations about your flight and how to get to the museum or whatever. On this podcast the host, Darya, reads a short piece about some aspect of Russian culture. Then she goes through it sentence by sentence and explains things that might be unfamiliar. Of course, there are also words I should know but don't that she doesn't explain, but I'm trying to just let it go and soak in what I can.

Watching

The Handmaid's Tale might be slowly killing me. I'm so very worried about the state of our union right now and I love this show, but it doesn't help. I thought it would be over after 10 episodes like last season, but apparently it's going to go for 13. So my trauma is being prolonged.

We've started watching Poldark, one of those historical British shows that is right up my alley. I had heard of it before, but then a friend mentioned liking it a lot and told me more about it and it's actually something Eric and I are both interested in and can watch together, which doesn't happen often. It's great so far!

I also began watching Parts Unknown, the Anthony Bourdain show where he travels to different places and eats interesting things. I knew very little about him, but after he died everyone had such great things to say. I almost wish I had watched this while he was still alive, but then I'd be as upset as everyone else. What really spurred me to watch wasn't just his death, but the fact that my Cookbook Club at work is going to be doing his book for our next meeting, so I thought I'd try to familiarize myself with him a bit more. He's so incredibly unpretentious, which I love. On the second episode of the show he goes to Koreatown in Los Angeles and eats at a Sizzler. A Sizzler! No matter where he goes (so far) he loves everything he eats. The guy just loved to eat, apparently, which I totally understand.

Knitting

Um. Let's move on.

Cooking

Lots of pickles

There was a lot going on this month, so I haven't cooked very much. June started out with a birthday party that I threw for myself, but we had it catered because I didn't want to spend the entire day slaving over food. We also went camping one weekend, and there have been a few other social activities. The weekend is really when I have time for cooking so if I end up having a lot of plans on the weekend then I don't have as much time to cook.

I did make pickles for my Cookbook Club at work, which was easy and delicious. We were cooking from Flour, Too by Joanne Chang. I also tried a couple of new recipes from Melissa Clark's Dinner but no real favorites, I don't think. Below is a photo of a Colombian-inspired chicken dish that has a lot of great flavors, but was kind of awkward to eat so I'm undecided about whether I'll make it again.

Doing

As I mentioned, the month began with a birthday party for my 45th. It was great, but I stayed up waaay too late and spent the entire next day - my actual birthday - in my pajamas, eating leftover party food and feeling out of sorts. The following weekend I went to a friend's 40th birthday party, which was a 90s dance party. I was a bit concerned about being able to pull together a good 90s outfit, since I was determined not to buy anything, but I borrowed some boots from a coworker, found a pair of lace tights in my drawer (where the heck did they even come from?) and the outfit really came together from there. So, lots of birthday fun in June!

Eric and I also took our first camping trip since we adopted Petri. We bought a new, larger tent which I love. I had no idea how she would behave on a camping trip, especially with the potential for so many other dogs around, but she was surprisingly well-behaved and really liked sleeping with us in the tent. The trip was cut short because of impending rain and thunderstorms, but I wasn't sure we'd make it through more than one night anyhow so it wasn't too much of a disappointment. It also gave us some extra time back at home so we went to see Deadpool 2, which was pretty good.

At work, a lot of the month was spent in interviews for a new Assistant Director and Teen Librarian. I'm amazed that we managed to cram in 2 rounds for 2 positions AND keep the reference desk staffed (more or less) but now the worst is over. Interviewing can be so exhausting. I'll be hiring another person in my department later this summer, but it's a position we've been without for about 5 years, so now it feels like it's extra. Exciting times!

It's halfway through the year, and I've mostly done ok at sticking to my goals. I need to remind myself that part of the reason I wanted to become a better cook is to be healthier, because recently my eating habits have not been great. (Birthday = giant cake for days. Camping = s'mores with lots of leftovers and I've been toasting marshmallows on my gas stove.) I won't beat myself up for not doing a lot of cooking recently, because part of enjoying summer is making plans with people on those precious weekend days. My other major goal this year was to be better about getting together with friends, especially those I don't see often, and I have definitely been doing that.

From Dinner by Melissa Clark

I may have mentioned that this year I switched from a bullet journal to a Passion Planner, and I'm still trying to decide if this planner will work for me. I do love the setup and the focus on goals (although I admit I haven't been filling everything out recently and I need to do better on that!) but I don't have enough space for my daily to-do lists. There's not even a space for that actually, because the way it's set up every day is a schedule. I don't have a ton of scheduled events, so I've just been covering the time slots with washi tape. Unfortunately, it doesn't leave a ton of space to write so I have to try and write very tiny. I think the larger size planner would work better, but I'm not sure it would fit in my bag. I might try the larger size next year and if it doesn't work, maybe just incorporate everything I like into a bullet journal? I don't know, but I really don't want to lose the goal-setting aspects of this planner. I also really like the weekly quotes and directives, all of which are great reminders. For instance, the quote next week is "Sometimes you have to find the good in goodbye." Then it says "Let go of the negativity you have towards someone by reflecting on the lessons you've learned from them. Believe that your experiences have made you stronger and that your future deserves to be shaped by positive experiences instead of being weighed down by negative ones."

Plans for July

One annual activity that I always look forward to is a day on Georges Island, one of the Boston Harbor Islands. Some friends and I take the ferry over and just spend a relaxing day together, walking around, sitting in adirondack chairs staring at the ocean, and catching up with each other. Then we take the ferry back to Boston and usually wrap up with dinner at a local restaurant. I always end up exhausted and sunburned and it is totally worth it.

My same friend who organizes that excursion also has a birthday later in July and this year we'll be spending her birthday at a Janelle Monae concert. So exciting! We've seen her perform before when she opened for Prince back in 2013 and it was a great show. Her new album is fantastic and I can't wait to see her perform these songs.

I am hoping to do a little more cooking than I have been, especially since I've made a list of recipes I've been wanting to try but that are very summery. I've been waiting for in-season tomatoes, corn, and other produce so I want to be sure I make use of them while I can. I went to the Farmer's Market near work on its first day of the season and bought some rhubarb and chard for a recipe. I haven't gone in the couple of weeks since then, but would like to make it a habit.

How was your June?